He has it out for me. I need to get on his good side.
Well, he's pretty horny. Maybe if you got him laid...
Saturday night?
- Doug, this is Harper, you remember her? - I know Harper, I remember you.
How could I forget Harper?
What?
If you date him, you're an idiot.
- What? Why? - She don't know me!
I'm sorry.
You know, about last night,
I'm so lucky I got place next to you.
And I just, I responded so...
I just didn't see that coming.
You know, it's no big deal. You know, I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm just tired of being alone.
It's always so difficult with you, you're always so angry.
- I am not angry. - And I don't work for you any more, Amy.
- So I don't owe you anything. - Aren't we friends?
- Have a good day. - I will.
Oh my gosh, I'm totally late.
Yeah, there was a protest in front of a hotel on Riverside.
Seemed like everybody was having fun.
It's just such a reminder...
That when we workers unite together over a common cause.
That's when we make real change.
We have more power than we think.
I think we just gotta come together on stuff, and...
You're late.
There was a protest on Riverside...
- I went through your stack... - They blocked the street...
And a lot of the numbers were off.
And it's a problem.
Well, I'll fix it. I'll go through it right away...
You had your shot.
That was weird. He seemed really pissed.
I worked all Saturday. I finished everything.
I set him up with a girl.
Yeah, but... But then you...
I don't know.
Tyler. What?
He's mad because you told the girl you set him up with that he's an idiot.
I didn't say that. I never said that.
I said that she'd be an idiot if she dated him.
You cock-blocked him.
What does that mean?
You blocked his cock.
Well, whatever. He was so drunk.
I'm surprised he even remembers.
Hello, Amy Jellicoe.
I'm calling from Judy Harvey's office.
She'd like to see you this morning.
Can you come upstairs around 11:00?
Oh, okay... Tonia, what's this about?
I really can't answer that.
Thank you.
Oh my God.
That was Human Resources!
Oh man, am I getting fired or something?
I don't know.
Tyler, who told you that he was pissed that I said that?
Did he tell you?
Look, I don't want to get involved. I'm serious. Okay?
Please, please. Can I just ask one more question? I really need your help right now.
And it's something I've wanted to ask you for a really long time.
What are we doing in this department?
I mean, what are the numbers?
Are you kidding?
I have my own work to do, okay
I can't keep carrying you!
Um, I was gonna ask your help with something...
- I'm actually really busy, so... - Yeah.
- No, cool. - Is it gonna take a long time?
Oh, it's a question. Quick question.
Um, what is Cogentiva?
What is Cogentiva?
Well, I mean, I know...
It's a software system that, like, helps focus on productivity and stuff.
But I just mean how does it work?
How could you be working here for this long and not know what it is that you're doing?
Oh, I came after everybody else.
Yeah, but you started weeks ago.
Yeah, but I missed the orientation.
And that was, like... There was no orientation.
Um, exactly.
Like, how are you supposed to know what you're doing, when there's no orientation?
- Well, I know what we're doing. - You know?
And I think everybody else here knows what we're doing.
- It's not exactly organic chemistry. - Okay...
- Um, can we just, like... - I can't believe that you're asking me this.
What have you been doing all this time?
What have you been doing?
Cogentiva is designed to track the performance of groups or individuals...
By comparing the results to a user-specified average rate of production.
What the fuck?
Okay, say you have a loader, okay? His name is Joe, okay?
Joe has a truck full of aspirin he has to unload, right?
When his task is complete, he uses an external data interface module...
To register his transaction.
The information is then sent from his radio frequency receiver...
All the way, beep, beep, beep, to this server right here.
We take that information, and we log into the software, where it gets processed.
Like this, see? Watch this, number seven.
Now we know the aspirin has been received.
We alsknow how long it took Joe to unload it.
Now, we can compare Joe's performance with other loaders.
Like, Chuck or Greg...
If Joe is faster than Greg, I don't know, maybe he gets more shifts.
Now, if Joe is too slow, we give him a demotion.
Probably, he's fired, you know?
With Cogentiva, we know what all of our employees are doing at all times.
It is like they are on an electronic leash.
And we also ask our employees to keep a written log of all of their activities.
We can then compare this log with the system's accounting.
That way they can fire somebody with cause.
By basically saying, "You've misrepresented your work."
Oh my gosh, that sounds so harsh.
I know, but that's business, you know?
This software is pretty amazing, actually.
We can fire any employee we want...
And find a replacement who will work for less.
Or we can dock pay, demand extra hours, cancel benefits,
And get around different union issues.
It's all about saving money for the company.
We're like Big Brother down here!
And Dougie helped create the program.
He's no monkey.
No, he's a fucking fascist mastermind.
You remember Naomi from our legal department?
Amy, after talking to the head of your department,
we think that, uh, Cogentiva isn't a very good fit for you.
And that's what I've been saying to you guys,
It sounds like you're consistently late and your work is unsatisfactory.
There also seems to be a personality conflict brewing.
Can I just say something?
Dougie did not bring this to your attention...
Because I was late, or 'cause of my work, or anything like that, okay?
I'm here because there was a party on Saturday night at Bank...
You know that club, Bank?
I tried to set him up with this girl, Harper, as a favor,
and he got really drunk.
And, you know, he was dancing with her, and then he started dancing with me...
And then he started groping me, and he...
Grabbed my butt and I pushed him off.
And then I turned to her and said, "You're an idiot if you date him."
And, he got pissed off, 'cause I cock-blocked him.
That's what happened, so...
You know, you can ask Tyler, who sits next to me. He'll confirm everything.
Okay, Amy, these are really serious accusations.
Are you saying that Doug Daniels harassed you?
Well, I'm not accusing or saying he's harassing...
I'm just telling you that if he is trying to fire me...
Then he's not telling you the truth about what's motivating it.
Okay, Amy, we'll look into it.
Krista! I need your help.
I gotta get out of my department.
Like, today! Or tomorrow!
What?
You know, the guy, the freak, that I tried to set your friend up with?
He's trying to get me fired because I cock-blocked him.
What?
Look, I know it is so politically sensitive here for you. I get it.
But, it has been a really long time since the whole Damon thing happened.
I mean we gotta put that behind us.
I need you, to get me a meeting with Damon and H & B.
You and I both know this is where I'm supposed to be.
I wanna come back, please?
Uh, Amy, I'm kinda the low man on the totem pole around here.
I'm begging you, as my friend.
Okay? I have got to find a position.
Or I'm gone, I'm over here!
And, I need to work. I can't afford to be fired right now.
- Amy... - You gotta try to get me a meeting.
Just go to Damon and say that I'm much better now.
That's all I need is one meeting, Krista.
Okay, okay. I'll talk to him.
Thank you, I mean...
Oh my God, thank you.
Oh, I so appreciate you.
I would not ask you that if I weren't, like, at the end of my rope.
Seriously, just let me know what he says, okay?
- Yeah, I will. I will. - You're the best!
Should I leave this... Okay. Yeah, yeah, just...
We hope you understand.
Uh, what is this all about?
We just need to clarify a few things.
Okay. So, you're a lawyer. Where'd you go to school?
Harvard Law.
I've heard of that.
Hey! I like your office.
What's wrong?
Some woman, Naomi, from Human Resources just called.
She wants me to come up to her office in five minutes.
Dougie's trying to get me fired.
So, I had to tell them why.
I told you I didn't want to get involved.
Tyler, it's my job. Yeah, and it's my job, too!
You know, I've had my own problems with human resources.
Why do you tnk they put me down in this hellhole?
I've tried to help you, you know this is not my problem!
I told you I didn't want you to bring me into this!
Just tell them the truth, and it's gonna be fine.
The truth? The truth is, you are always late! The truth is you don't work.
I've done all your work. You've done nothing!
I came into work on a Saturday.
Big fucking whoop! I work here every day!
You know, you sit there, and you read your books and, you...
Spew your dumb political bullshit...!
Tyler! Calm down. Like, everybody's staring.
Please, don't let what happened between us last week,
cloud your judgment here, okay?
- 'Cause... - Oh, God... Fucking dumbshit!
Judy, I just had a thought...
Amy, we're about to start a meeting.
Oh, right, I'm sorry'm being neurotic but, um...
Dougie is, like, stomping around the office.
Why don't you go home early today, okay, Amy?
We'll have an answer for you tomorrow.
Uh, remember I had that idea for the community outreach position?
I was thinking this might be a great time to circle...
Amy! Go home.
Okay.
Have a great meeting. Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
What happened at work today?
Nothing. Same ol'.
I'm trapped.
I can't live here forever.
I need to make money.
Your work is your life.
Life is your work.
When you're treated like shit, that's all you are.
You have to stand up for yourself or you're nothing.
You'll lose whatever humanity you have left.
You have to fight.
But what am I fighting for?
To keep this sick job where we spy on our fellow workers?
And look for ways to rip them off?
Is everyone here as trapped as I am?
Is she trapped?
Is he?
You moved your desk?
How was it?
Tyler, I didn't mean to...
Look, leave me alone!
I'm sorry, but you're the only person who will talk to me.
- What's going on? - Yeah, that's what we all want to know.
What's going on? Well, Dougie wants me out!
I mean, I'm trying to save my job!
Well, all I know is they had me upstairs yesterday for one hour...
Asking me all of these questions...
About, if Dougie inappropriate around the office...
What did you say? I said, no.
He's fine. I don't know, it's not that bad, I've had worse.
Well, who else are they talking to?
Everybody. Connie's up there right now
Shit.
Hey. It's me.
Did everything resolve?
Oh, no, Krista, this is worse than ever.
Oh, God, that sucks.
Did you talk to Damon?
Yeah, we talked and uh...
Yeah? Um, what'd he say?
He's not going to take you back, Amy. He's not into it.
I tried. I really did try. He just doesn't want to go there.
Thanks for trying, so...
I wish there was something more thaI could do, but...
It's probably my last day he, you know?
I really am sorry, Amy.
Okay. I'll talk to you later.
Amy, it's Judy Harvey.
I'd love to sit with you this afternoon but I'm just swamped with stuff until after lunch.
Maybe 3:00 p.m.?
We'll see you at 3:00 p.m.
Damon, um, can I talk to you for a minute?
What is it, Amy?
Look, don't worry...
It's my last day here, so you're not gonna have to deal with me after this.
I've done a lot of research, our vendors.
And their products' impact on the environment, and fair-labor policies...
And I'd really hate to see all this research go to waste.
You're the only person who has the power to do something about this.
If you could just take a look...
I wish I could have presented it all to H & B...
But you wouldn't even give me one meeting, and...
What are you talking about?
Krista told me, okay? So...
Krista told you what?
That she asked you if I could present it to H & B and maybe come back...
And you said no.
I have never spoken to Krista about you in my life.
Wait a minute... what?
I mean, she asked you, right?
No. Look...
I know there's no job H & B so that point is moot. But I will take a look at this.
Good luck. See ya.
I don't really subscribe to the whole "Don't find out what the sex is..."
Because sometimes you just gotta go...
It just makes things easier. It's practical when you think about it.
We live in a world where we...
Can I talk to you?
Good luck.
Hey, Amy. What happened? Is everything okay?
No. Everything's not okay.
- You didn't even fucking talk to him! - Yes, I did.
I just spoke to him!
Thanks for your help.
I'm about to get fired!
And you're supposed to be my friend?
You can't even bring yourself to help me with one favor!
Yeah, but you know and I know that Damon's not gonna take you back.
I didn't need to talk to him.
- Then, why did you lie to me? - Because it's the only way, Amy!
I don't know how to deal with you.
You're not even real, Krista.
I'm not gonna be friends with someone who's not even real.
Then don't be my friend. Whatever.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
'Cause I can't do anything for you anymore, huh?
When you needed my help, then you were my friend?
Now I need your help, and what?
I'm too much for you to deal with?
You're crazy, you're crazy, Amy.
I'm crazy, 'cause I tell the truth?
Thanks for showing me what friendship is in the American corporation. Is this it?
- You and me, Krista? - Look at you, you're crazy. You're acting crazy!
Krista, this is it, huh?
I'm done!
She'yelling at me. Yeah.
She's cry. She's crazy! Oh my god...
Call the guys in the white coats, you guys.
Unbelievable.
Amy. Are you ready?
So, Amy, we've talked to your co-workers and Doug, and...
We've assessed the situation...
Yeah, I'm sure...
And it does seem Doug's behavior in the office...
And outside of it, has been an issue, not just with you.
We don't think the situation is beyond repair.
We've given him what we believe is a very firm and unequivocal warning...
That certain behavior and language will not be tolerated.
And we believe he gets it.
Obviously, your job is not in jeopardy.
Great. That's... That's great.
Doug has special skills that compel us to want to have this work out.
I hope you'll understand why we want to keep the team in place.
I understand.
Well, he's here, and we'd like to sit down with the two of you...
For just a second.
Here? Okay.
I'm not used to things going my way.
So, Doug, we've talked to Amy. And I know she wants to make it work th you.
And I know you wanna make it work with her.
I think communication is important here.
I hope we can be helpful going forward.
Let's just all stay in contact, right?
Yeah, okay, no problem.
I'm a professional. You're a professional.
Okay, yeah. Let's have a clean slate.
Let's be on time.
I feel like we should hug.
I know it was you.
I can't take all those G-D's, and effin' this, and effin' that.
Maybe now he'll stop all that cursing.
Yeah, I bet he will.
Work can get stressful.
But you can't forget your morals, right?
Absolutely, Connie.
Power to the people.
�Si, se puede!